A Mom’s Survival Guide to the First Day of Kindergarten

My first born is heading off to kindergarten. Yes, that little one there in my arms.

IMGP00601The whole notion makes me feel like I could throw up.  I have read and been touched by all the beautiful, heartfelt, sure to make you cry blogs. If you haven’t, just log into Facebook. I think there is a new one posted every two seconds. Ironically, since I am a sometime blogger myself, I have started boycotting blogs on this subject because, frankly, I need to keep my $#!+ together! But this is a BIG milestone, isn’t it?!?! I should write something. So here it is:

A mom’s survival guide to sending your child off to kindergarten.

SUPPLIES:

Mirror. You are going to have to practice your game face. So log into your Facebook account, read one of those super sappy sure to make you cry blogs in front of the mirror and practice smiling. It has to be convincing so you know you are going to need practice. Smile. If you can’t smile, paint one on. Go all clown if you have to. You can’t let that precious child see your fear.

Man_making_a_grimaceYou can practice making silly faces too. You can use them to distract both of you from the “What the heck is wrong with me?!?!” emotions you are certain to feel. And if you still can’t stop crying, then you can just say you must have pulled a muscle making those darn silly faces.

sunglassesdogSunglasses. You are going to cry. Trust me, there are only so many times you can tell your child you got something in your eye or, “Gee, my allergies are bad today” before they catch on. Start covering those teary eyes up now. And, for God’s sake, make certain you wear them to the bus stop on the first day. Maybe every day that first week. Or month.

sunglasses-woman-girl-facelessIf you are failing miserably, as I expect I will, you could try the Cousin It look.

praline-182861_1920Chocolate. I suggest the good kind. Not even the good Lindt chocolate that you can get at the grocery store. I am talking about going to a real Chocolatier and buying the $2 a piece kind. And lots of it. Your survival depends on this. Don’t be cheap.

Flaming_cocktailsWine, beer, hard liquor. Your choice. Maybe all three if you are really taking things hard. Heck, I may make myself a flaming martini to get through the ordeal! If you have other children, you may want to hire a babysitter so you can curl up into a ball and cry as you reminisce upon every single memory you have had with your children in the past 5 years.

UmbrellasUmbrellas. All kidding aside, call your friends. Invite those umbrellas over. These people have been where you are before. They will assure you survival is not only possible but certain and often times pleasant. They will highlight the absolutely wonderful things to come in this new future. They will hug you when you dwell incessantly on all the things you will miss. They will cry with you, smile with you, laugh with you and then tell you it’s time to pull it together because you have been ruminating for so long it is time to go to the bus stop to pick up your kids.

mismatched_mothers_dayYour own mom. Whether it is a phone call or a visit. Touch base with your own mother. I realized tonight as I sniffed my way through bedtime songs and was hanging onto my good night cuddles WAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY longer than was necessary, the long and loving hugs are one of the things I will miss most about having very young children. It struck me, “When is the last time I hugged my mom like this?!?!” I honestly can’t recall. I am resisting the urge to drive over there right now just to hug her because that would be a little nutty. ~But I know just what I will be doing tomorrow.

grass-730399_1920Focus. Focus on your child’s joy. Focus on your child’s growth. Focus on your child’s love. Focus on your child’s needs. Just as you always have and always will.

GOOD LUCK!!!